California high school: The ‘fantasy slut league’

25 Oct

Here’s today’s COMMENT FROM AN OLD FART: Moi’s attention was caught by Bryan Toporek’s Education Week article about a “fantasy slut league.” It was one of those “say, what” moments. Many women struggle with feelings of inadequacy, but to to volunteer to be used, as the kids say, as someone’s bitch? Well, what’s going on? Alison Fitch has a great article at Self Esteem4 Women. Com, Feeling Worthless:

No matter how tough your childhood, no matter how rotten your luck, you can CHOOSE to enrich the world every day simply by the way you interact with others, by the way you make caring decisions, and by the way you feel about yourself.

If you’re feeling worthless right now, then I’d like to ask you a question. What proactive steps have you been taking recently to overcome those feelings? Many, many women – when I put this question to them – answer with something along the lines of “um, well, nothing really because I feel stuck in a rut”.

Those women, all of them, are certainly not happy that they feel like that. But feeling like that is a habit that has become – almost paradoxically – a source of comfort to them. Why? For one of two reasons:

  1. Feeling worthless is a safe option because it reduces the amount of pain you suffer when things go wrong. If you already know that you’re no good and that no one will fall in love with you, or give you a job, or even care enough to listen to you, then when a rejection wings its way towards you – which it certainly will because it happens to all of us – then you’re better prepared than most. You can say: “Ah ha, you can’t ruin my life because I already knew this was going to happen; I already knew that you didn’t really love me/want me/value me!”
  2. Feeling worthless is an easy option; if you’re worthless there’s no need to try to do well and succeed in the things that matter to you because there is simply no point. Also, if you act as if your opinions and your desires are all worthless then people leave you alone. If you say you have no remarkable skills or talents then there is no need to apply them. If you say that you are a useless, hopeless nobody then people will expect far less from you. And just maybe you could get lots of sympathy and perhaps even another person (on a white horse in shining armour) coming to your rescue to sort your life out for you.

deep down, all of us really WANT to feel valued

But, the harsh truth is, we will feel valued only if we are willing to contribute something to the world around us. And whether we contribute anything or not is a choice. OUR choice. http://www.selfesteem4women.com/public_articles/worthless.htm

Obviously, the young women drafted into the “fantasy slut league” felt pretty worthless before they were drafted.

One of the hallmarks of a generation or a cohort are attitudes which were formed by the period of time in which the generation or cohort existed. Perhaps, the best capsule to explain the attitude differences between the early days of the women’s movement and the sex is one way to climb the ladder of success ethos of the Sex in the City crowd is in the Dolly Parton movie, 9 to 5 which was released in 1980. It is interesting to read the NOW 1966 Statement of Purpose which states principles such as:

WE BELIEVE that it is as essential for every girl to be educated to her full potential of human ability as it is for every boy — with the knowledge that such education is the key to effective participation in today’s economy and that, for a girl as for a boy, education can only be serious where there is expectation that it will be used in society. We believe that American educators are capable of devising means of imparting such expectations to girl students. Moreover, we consider the decline in the proportion of women receiving higher and professional education to be evidence of discrimination. This discrimination may take the form of quotas against the admission of women to colleges, and professional schools; lack of encouragement by parents, counselors and educators; denial of loans or fellowships; or the traditional or arbitrary procedures in graduate and professional training geared in terms of men, which inadvertently discriminate against women. We believe that the same serious attention must be given to high school dropouts who are girls as to boys.

The naive little idea which NOW was enunciating at the time that was that women should get educated and gain experience so that they would be qualified on their merits for promotion. Women’s ENews has an article about the casting couch syndrome which the movie 9 to 5 highlighted and the early women’s movement fought so hard to overcome.

In the article Sexual Harassment  Sandra Kobrin correctly takes the likes of Polanski and Letterman to task.

But, is there to be no questioning of the behavior of a generation of young women fed the pablum of Candace Bushnell of Sex and the City fame. To quote Ms. Bushnell:

. . . She was obsessed with clothes and status, how she never gave a thought to being responsible for her own actions, or even what she might do for anyone else-making her the ultimate example of all that was wrong and misguided about young women today.”

Candace Bushnell (One Fifth Avenue)

One wonders if young women taking the trip through whoredom have  read that quote? Brett Michael Dykes writes at the Yahoo Blog about The Women of the David Letterman Scandal, all of whom seem to be well educated with the possibility of traveling a number of paths which did not have to include the casting couch.

Bryan Toporek reports in the Education Week article, Calif. School Responds to Student-Athlete ‘Fantasy Slut League’:

Piedmont Principal Rich Kitchens sent a letter to parents on Friday, Oct. 19, which was posted on Piedmont Patch, spelling out details about the student-athletes’ sordid fantasy league and explaining why no one has been punished.

According to the letter, over the past 5-6 years a group of varsity male student-athletes “drafted” females in their school and earned “points” for engaging in certain sexual activities with said females.

The principal’s letter didn’t go into specifics about what activities earned points, but in fantasy football, for instance, points are generally awarded for receptions, yards gained, and touchdowns. Use your imagination to fill in the rest.

Most of the females didn’t know of their involvement in the league, the letter alleges, although some were aware of their participation.

Students of both genders allegedly felt pressure to participate, with older students allegedly providing alcohol for younger students at times “to impair judgment/control.”

The school hasn’t punished the student-athletes involved, however, because the activity was judged to be off-campus, and thus not subject to school discipline.

“At this point, because we do not have specifics about participants or victims, our focus is on education and understanding moving forward, not discipline for past activities,” Kitchens wrote.

How will the school move forward? According to the letter, Kitchens will be instituting meetings at the beginning of each sports season “to address issues of sportsmanship, conduct, and integrity.” The school’s drama teacher is developing an assembly to address the issue as well.

“We’ve got a few irons in the fire from the school’s point of view, but my whole impetus for sending out the letter was to communicate with parents some facts about what’s going on,” he later said to the Los Angeles Times.

Kitchens’ letter also says that current varsity student-athletes have also pledged that the “fantasy slut league” will not be continued, moving forward.

A word of advice to any student-athletes looking to start their own imitation fantasy slut league: Don’t do it. Nothing good can come of it.

As technology only becomes more ubiquitous and linked, and Google searches only grow more important in terms of college and job applications, the last thing you need is a Google search on your name to return “founder of _____ school’s fantasy slut league” as the first result. http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/schooled_in_sports/2012/10/calif_school_responds_to_fantasy_slut_league_for_student-athletes.html

Stephen Perrine has a good article, How To Bimbo Proof Your Daughter  which is also good advice for sons.  The point is parents must engage their children and offer them alternatives to the culture which is trying to turn children into Snooki, Miley, Lindsey, and Paris clones. Remember that education which includes not only the academic, but positive role models is a partnership between the student, parent(s) or guardian(s), teacher(s), and school. All parties must be involved and engaged.

The American Psychological Association has written a report Sexualization of Girls and the Executive Summary contains the following definition:

There are several components to sexualization, and these set it apart from healthy sexuality. Sexualization occurs when

  • a person’s value comes only from his or her sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics;

  • a person is held to a standard that equates physical attractiveness (narrowly defined) with being sexy;

  • a person is sexually objectified—that is, made into a thing for others’ sexual use, rather than seen as a person with the capacity for independent action and decision making; and/or

  • sexuality is inappropriately imposed upon a person.

All four conditions need not be present; any one is an indication of sexualization. The fourth condition (the inappropriate imposition of sexuality) is especially relevant to children. Anyone (girls, boys, men, women) can be sexualized. But when children are imbued with adult sexuality, it is often imposed upon them rather than chosen by them. Self-motivated sexual exploration, on the other hand, is not sexualization by our definition, nor is age-appropriate exposure to information about sexuality.        http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/girls/report.aspx

This society is setting up women and girls to make some personally destructive choices which have nothing to do with a liberating and healthy sexuality. Much of the culture is simply aimed at demeaning and trivializing women. Children of both sexes need to be urged toward education, training, and life experiences which grow them as responsible and caring people. They should be urged to make choices which benefit them and the society in which they live. Unfortunately, there are some who enter the world of whoredom because they are forced. There is a lot of information about human trafficking No one in their right mind would honestly advocate that someone they care about was “in the life” or “on the game.” But if young women are going to voluntarily take the road of whoredom, then you need to sell yourselves for Goldman Sachs type $$$$$$$$$$. That is what Miley, Britney, Janet and the other pop tarts have done. Short of that, you might as well be walking the streets looking for a really nice car that isn’t leased so that you can become the next “Pretty Woman.

Related:

Bimbos, himbos, and role models                                        http://drwilda.com/2011/11/28/bimbos-himbos-and-role-models/

Children too sexy for their years                                         http://drwilda.com/2011/11/11/children-too-sexy-for-their-years/

Blogs by Dr. Wilda:

COMMENTS FROM AN OLD FART © https://drwildaoldfart.wordpress.com/

Dr. Wilda Reviews ©                                   http://drwildareviews.wordpress.com/

Dr. Wilda ©                                                                                  http://drwilda.com/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: